In the last couple of days I met several people, some through couching and some in everyday life, and listened to the story they were telling. Their story, story about their life. The kind they don’t want. It was interesting to listen to that. Most of those people are actively working on self-development, they are aware of many self-development tools and they know what it means to talk about what you don’t want, they are aware of the importance of focus and all the rest…
Now that I am becoming more and more self aware and aware my surroundings, listening to what people are telling and observing them I can see how difficult it is for them to apply the knowledge they have gained. And I completely understand it, I’ve been there. You understand everything in theory, it’s all clear, all fine, and then you simply go back to the old habits and continue telling the old story. Why?
See, this is the question I asked myself first. When I became aware I was telling the old story, I asked myself why. Why am I doing this right now? What is my intention? What do I want to accomplish? What do I wish to achieve by telling this story? Ask yourselves these questions.
We are often not aware of our own thought patterns, we are not aware how “lulled” we are in our well known surroundings and we are telling the story for who knows what reasons. Maybe you want some attention? Pity? Maybe you want a confirmation or a validation from those around you that you are, despite horrific circumstances, so cool and strong? What exactly are you trying to accomplish with that? You want to complain a bit because that gives you some relief…? I know this seems like the easiest thing to do sometimes and subconsciously or half consciously you are choosing to do what is easiest to do. But it is easier only because it’s a habit! It isn’t the most comfortable choice. And definitely not the best one for you. I wrote about habits in one of my earlier posts, and how we must change them if we want to change.
When did I start telling a new story? When I became aware what I am doing to myself with the old one! When I asked myself honestly what am I doing to myself and my life with this old unhappy story that I keep telling. That’s when I stopped.
Whatever your reason for telling the unwanted story is, it is not worth the consequences. And the consequences are the life that you don’t want and you are not happy with!
Often people play various roles, like victims, fighters and many others. It is all so common that people rarely notice it. You get used to doing that because you were taught that way. Neither you nor those who taught you knew any better.
But, now that you know what it means, if you are still telling your old story, the sad story about your difficult life, ask yourself what are you getting with it? Five minutes of someone’s attention? Pity? Admiration? Whatever it is, it will hardly be more than five minutes, or fifteen. And than those people return to their lives and you are left with your own. That which you are creating with those exact stories.
Maybe you’ll get it when you ask yourself these same questions I did. Maybe you’ll get it when you realize that you are only harming yourself with these stories. You are creating your life and confirming what you don’t want. Out loud! Maybe you’ll get it when you understand it’s unimportant what others think, because what others think has nothing to do with you.
What is stopping you from telling a new story? There was something that was stopping me from telling a new story and it wasn’t the habit of telling the old one. I felt like I was lying. Lying to myself. Lying to others. But with time I realized it is not like that at all! I am not lying, I am creating!
Future is a blank paper, and it is up to us what are we going to write on it. No one knows what will happen anyway, right? It’s only because of our old patterns of thinking, behavior and circumstances that it seems more real to tell how it was up to now.
I said “it was up to now”, and not how is now, because “now” is not. What we call present is actually the past, because this moment right now is already in the past even before you finished reading this sentence. Why are you talking about the past? The future is not written. You are not lying to anyone. Maybe only to yourself?
Tell the story you can align with, the one that serves you! What does that mean? You don’t have to tell how successful, healthy and rich you are, if you feel it’s untrue and you are not resonating with that, and especially if you notice the resistance within you. But you can say it is getting better. You can say that your situation is being resolved successfully, no matter how it is at the moment. You can say your health is improving. Try! And notice how you feel! When you notice that you are feeling a little better, because you changed your story and because you focused on where you want to go, you will understand the power of telling the story. And when people around you ask, whatever the subject, how are things right now, tell them they are getting better. All is getting better and better… Create it!
The future is ahead of you, and there are numerous possibilities and paths you could take. It is up to you which direction you are going to choose. Which path you are going to step onto. The one you want to live, or the one you don’t.
What story are you telling today? Try telling a slightly different story today, try saying it’s getting better, try to look at the path in the future where it is getting better… How does it look like? Yes, that path is equally real as the one you’ve been on so far. So why not talk about that one instead? Why not step onto it, when it’s already laying in front of your feet? Why don’t you tell the story about that path, the one that is taking you where you want to go?
Love you all